It’s not you, it’s me.

I have all the information I need and more, but still I am out of shape.

On March 8th 2019 I turned 40. On March 9th I was roughly half a metric tonne heavier than the previous day. That’s way too much to be my fault. Needless to say I became a firm believer of all conspiracy theories ever created overnight. I am of course joking for comedic effect, but there’s a mineral or two of truth mixing with the salt of my clownish tears and that’s what I want to write about.